Unmapped Escapades

My handlebars creak. My warped wheel groans against the brakes on each rotation. My un-greased chain squeals.

Okay, so my bicycle doesn´t exactly weep, but it comes close to it, and so do I. My thighs burn. My shoulder bag is soaked in sweat. My body and mind are exhausted.

We´ve spent the last 2 days cycling through the countryside around our base of Poprad, Slovakia, in the shadow of the high Tatras mountains. We came over the border - and the other side of those same mountains - by way of bus from Zakopane, Poland.

I feel like my last 2 or 3 posts have been driven by criticism of our experiences in Poland, by cynicism about the crowds of tourists, by sarcasm related to the let´s-find-our-purpose-in-life-while-traveling-and-drinking-with-other-backpackers backpackers. This is probably going to be a short post, because we have come across absolutely nothing worthy of criticism in Slovakia. This country is everything we´ve been looking for…so far.

It´s cheap. It´s inexplicably untouristy. It´s friendly. It´s gorgeous. It´s a dream for people traveling by bike. Small, traffic-less roads that meander through the countryside, leading us to picturesque villages. Vista after vista that allow us to soak in the landscape in all directions and take some phenomenal pictures for all you couch-bound travelers out there.

I guess I could complain about the hills, but that´s not the Slovaks´ fault. And I guess I could complain about the hideous apartment complexes on the outskirts of Poprad, but that´s more Soviet idiocy for you. What I can complain about is the lack of good computing power, a fast internet connection, keyboards with the z and the y switched and with no apostrophe and no way for me to make hyperlinks. As a result, no hyperlinks to this post, weird y and z mistakes, and you´re going to have to wait on the pictures…again.

We´re staying in a wonderful room above a pub called Cafe Razy - the “C” is really big on the sign, and the “afe” is small, so it looks like “Crazy.” It´s in the little, colorful, vibrant pedestrain-only center of Poprad.

We rode 70 or so kms yesterday. Our route took us to the very base of the mountains, zooming down to the flatter plains, through a thunder and lightning and hailstorm, over wet railroad tracks where Monica´s wheel got caught and sent her for a tumble, to a village restaurant where I ordered peroshkis because they seemed safe - hopefully no sheep´s cheese - and got sweet dumplings swimming in melted butter, sugar and cinnamon, to the Kezmarok Castle, through self-contained village after village, by Roma - gypsy - camps in horendous condition, up a massive hill, and back to our pub, restaurant, beds. On the way to the base of the mountains, we passed through the towns of Stary Smokovec and Horny Smokovec, which, coincidentally, are the names that Monica and I would assume if we ever became a singing duo like Ike and Tina Turner. “And now…Stary and Horny Smohhh-Kohhh-Viiich!!” I´d be Stary.

Today, I took another ride while Monica rested her aching knee and exhausted legs and worked on her writing project. I rode 90 kms - all of it, it seemed, uphill - into the “difficult to access” Slovensky Raj National Park and back. My destination was the Dobsinska Ice Cave. I made it, but was so exhaused, all I could think about was the possibility that there would be food in the vicinity. There was, and I ate the 2 best hot dogs I ever tasted. They were the only things I could decipher on the menu. The cave was worth the ride, but it wasn´t unfathomable like caves we visited in the Ozarks. Many, many feet of solid ice, stalagtites and stalagmites formed by ice, blessed coolness, and a guide who stopped the group every 2 minutes or so to spout facts in Slovak monotone. I got nothing from it. I think I heard the word “engineer” and the word “four” if the word “four” in Slovak is similar to the word “four” in Russian. No pictures ’cause it cost an extra 15 bucks to take them. Still, it was cool.

Here´s the plan. In the morning, we´ll evaluate if we can actually do another 70 or so kms on the bikes tomorrow - this time fully loaded. If so, we´ll ride to the town of Liptovsky Mikulas. If not, we´ll bus to Banska Bystrica and start the ride toward Budapest from there. I hear it´s downhill.

- K and M